Jae Pinkner
Layers of Perception, 2021
Acrylic paint on acrylic plexiglass
16 x 16 inches
I think there is a lot that is yet to be understood about the relationship between objective reality and perception. I am most fascinated by this relationship as it pertains to human faces. We all remember faces in distinct ways that sometimes do not reflect reality, whether it’s the face of a complete stranger that we see in passing, the face of a family member that we see every day, or the face of an old friend that we haven’t seen in years. I find it weird that if we look at faces upside down, or inverted, we struggle to recognize them, whereas if we look at a tree or a water bottle upside down, we instantly recognize it. I also think it’s interesting when people say things like, “I’m good at remembering faces, not names,” or vice versa. It’s eerie that we look at the faces of others all day, every day, but our memory always picks and chooses what information we retain.
I’ve always gotten a funny feeling when I am looking at the face of someone I think I know well, but slowly realize that their face has changed, or is different from what I remember. After I come to the realization that I don’t truly recognize their face, I am often disappointed. I wonder if it is my fault and I have failed to ever truly look at that person’s face. Or, if it is completely out of my control and my brain has chosen to manipulate their face in my memory. Either way, I feel unsettled, as though I have been living in a false reality.
My intention for this piece was to mimic what an altered perception of faces may look like within one’s memory, while also exploring my own version of a self portrait. Although I could never know how others perceive my face, I tried to use my own experience to imagine what misperceptions could occur. So, I painted different versions of my face:
A “true” self portrait of myself. I say “true,” in quotations because I think that self portraits heighten the concept of misperception. At its core, a self portrait is never a painting of one’s face, but always a painting of one’s perception of their face. This allows for the piece to be influenced by self-identity, societal conventions, and many other factors, both internal and external, leaving the idea of a “true” self portrait complicated.
A younger version of myself. I often find myself remembering a younger version of someone’s face, even if I see them every day, and then suddenly, one day I will realize that their face has completely changed. I think that sometimes our perceptions of faces can be trapped in time, perhaps when we first saw them, or from a distinct moment.
A version of myself with my features as I imagine others may remember them; My eyes smaller, my lips larger, and my skin with a more yellow pigment (since people often associate Asians with smaller eyes and yellow skin, and women with larger lips). The idea of this version was to capture how society can influence our assumptions, thereby affecting perception.
I then overlaid all of these paintings to create an awkward and distorted composite portrait. I hope that when people see the final piece, they are confused and unsettled just as I often am when I find faces to be different from what was stored in my memory.
Click images to enlarge.
