Zack Hauptman
Memory Bank, 2021
Digital prints, cardstock, paper, glue, transparent paper, watercolor, old postage, and an excerpt from Audre Lorde's "The Cancer Journals."
16.43 x 14.357 inches
A memory bank is a device used to hold onto information from a computer, like a hard drive. Collages aren’t like memory banks, but they do both hold onto fragments of information.
Years ago, I would race around my home, compiling dozens of discarded magazines to create collages. I always had a mission, a notepad, and a pair of scissors. While I’m unsure what those early works looked like, I sat at a desk for hours, staring at the sheets of paper in front of me and cutting out images for each collage. Eventually, a bulletin board in my bedroom became my new collage; every few months, it would take on a new form, as if an ever-changing representation of my life. Even now, old scraps, postcards, and posters hide behind the newer top layer. When I first took photography class in the eighth grade, I was fascinated by the unpredictability of the darkroom. This exploration continued in high school, where I would have Carly Steward for all four years. The darkroom became one of my favorite spots on the Crossroads campus and the enlarger – which I used to combine, alter, and magnify my photos – became my weapon of choice. With headphones in, I learned about myself through the process of manipulating and altering photos.
I didn’t have the luxury of using the darkroom during the creation of my CAS Thesis project due to the pandemic. Although parts of me regret not shooting with black and white film photography or using Photoshop in the same capacity as usual, I was forced to try on new hats and learn how to photograph in a darkroom-less world.
This new piece, Memory Bank, pulls different moments from around Los Angeles over the last few months together into a collage, utilizing each image as not just a photograph, but also a texture. I pasted and cut out my own digital photographs onto a sheet of cardstock paper to create a photomontage, using a glue stick as diligently as I once did years ago. Some parts of this piece were also digitally added in Photoshop, but I hope I’ve made it difficult to differentiate which is which.
On the bottom left of Memory Bank, there is a quote from Audre Lorde’s book The Cancer Journals. The excerpt and postage are the only things that were not created by my two hands. At times while working on this project, I felt as if I was constantly seeking input from others and attempting to absorb information without truly asking myself what I wanted. While I am so grateful for those who supported me, I did ultimately need to listen to my own intuition. Audre Lorde’s quote focuses on the difference between someone who wants versus who needs. In creating Memory Bank, I learned the importance of wanting: trying every idea and vision out, just for the fun of it.
